


Femme Fatale

by AquaQuadrant



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Aged up characters, And then this happened, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Larry being larry, Strong Language, This was supposed to be a joke, WELCOME TO CARTOON HELL, and a dash of sexy, and im sorry, and one of the guys dresses up as the fake prostitute instead, beautiful-mimstery tagged that post saying she always thought of penn sashi and boone, bisexual penn, boone being a great friend, but instead of drooling over her the male heroes realize shes totally uncomfortable, cross-dressing, demisexual sashi, i cant believe how trashy this is omg, im in too deep, implied off-screen smut between two consenting but underage individuals, mentions of abuse and death but very minor, non-explicit sexual themes, prostitution but not actual smut, rippen being the weird uncle, this fic contains innacurate police practices, this was based off that tumblr post, where the female action hero has to get all dressed up, youre welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4349102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaQuadrant/pseuds/AquaQuadrant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lingerie was new.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Femme Fatale

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Contains some dark themes (prostitution, mentions of abuse and death, gang-related violence) but the rating is mostly for inappropriate things (language, sexual themes, and implied off-screen smut between two consenting but underage individuals). Characters are aged up (16/17 ish?)
> 
> A/N: Mostly written as a joke but I couldn’t help adding depth to it, lol. Inspired by that post about the badass female action hero who has to dress up at some point, and instead of drooling over her the male action heroes realize how uncomfortable she looks and nominates one of them to be the fake prostitute instead. The idea hit me when beautiful-mimstery tagged that post saying she always thought of Penn, Sashi, and Boone. I didn’t originally intend for it to be Pennashi (I don’t even ship it that much, what the heck?) but somehow this happened. Enjoy, I guess!

The day had started out like any other.

After powering through another mediocre day at the overcrowded cesspool they called a high school, Penn and his friends had reported to the Odyssey for their mission.

Now that they were older, Phyllis had started entrusting them with more mature missions. They were used to danger, but some dimensions had sensitive matters that had to be handled delicately.

Penn couldn’t forget the mission where they’d had to convince a queen to overthrow her tyrannical (and abusive) husband. He hadn’t slept for weeks after saving a dimension from a serial killer (the final showdown had been deadly; it was the first time Penn had killed someone). And none of them liked to talk about the mission with the haunted pizza place animatronics (seriously, don’t ask).

But as far as strange and unusual missions went, this one truly took the cake.

The mission had started as it normally did.

Phyllis greeted them in her traditional brusque manner and zapped them in with absolutely no explanation on where they’d be going. Penn had become something of a pro at expecting the unexpected (or so he thought).

The first thing he registered when he zapped in was the smell. A dozen different perfumes assaulted his senses immediately. Eyes watering, Penn was able to make out Boone’s form beside him, hacking out his lungs.

“Ugh, what is this stuff?” Boone groaned, holding his nose shut. “It smells like my grandma’s house. Where are we?”

Penn waved the putrid fumes away and took in their surroundings. It was a small room, with pink shag carpeting and white plaster walls. A large vanity with a lit up mirror sat across from a velvet chaise lounge, and in the corner of the room was a folding screen acting as a changing area.

“Some kind of dressing room, I think,” Penn mused. He examined the outfit he was wearing, a heavy trench coat and a fedora, and his fingers closed around a cold metal badge tucked away in one of the inside pockets. “Wait, Boone, I think I’m a cop!” He exclaimed excitedly, pulling out the bade to show Boone.

“Me too!” Boone cheered, pulling an identical badge from his coat. “Yeah, we’re cops!”

“Keep it down, stupids!” Sashi’s voice startled Penn, not only with it’s sudden appearance and tenacity, but because she sounded off, like she was nervous.

“Sashi? Where are you?” Penn looked around, half expecting her to repel from the ceiling.

“Here...” A hand appeared at the top of the changing wall and waved shyly at them.

“Sashi, you’re a changing room?” Boone asked, bewildered. “That sucks! But guess what? Me and Penn are cops!”

“Shhhh! Keep your voice down, someone’s gonna hear!”

There was definitely something wrong with Sashi. Her voice was wavering, and she hadn’t emerged from behind the changing wall yet.

“Sash, are you okay?” Penn asked, taking a step towards the screen.

“Yes!” She yelped. “I’m fine!”

“Okay..?” Penn frowned. “Could you check the specs?”

“You and Boone are undercover police officers. I’m the.. _informant_ , you are working with. We are trying to get a taped confession from my... my employer, who is one of the city’s most dangerous mob bosses, so we can arrest him. Our mission is to sneak me in and get a confession from him without blowing our cover.”

If Penn wasn’t worried before, he definitely was now. Sashi had stumbled and stuttered through the briefing, which wasn’t like her at all.

“I’ll go in and... and interrogate him. Boone, you are going to accompany me as ‘hired muscle.’ Penn, you’ll be monitoring the mission from a secure location, which... is a van in the street. Once I get the confession, you-”

“Sashi, you really don’t sound okay,” Penn cut in. “What’s wrong?”

There was a pause.

“Just... promise you won’t laugh, okay?”

Penn and Boone exchanged a confused look. They’d all been zapped into weird and silly bodies before, it was nothing new to them.

“Promise.” They chimed.

“Okay...” There was a heavy sigh, like she was steeling herself, and Sashi stepped out from behind the screen.

She was a stripper.

Sashi was wearing a light pink corset adorned with black lace, accompanied with matching panties wrapped in a sheer skirt and a garter belt attached to black, thigh high boots. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking up at them anxiously, her face tinted red.

“I’m a stripper.” She muttered.

For most teenage boys, it would be a dream come true to see the girl they had a massive crush on in lingerie. But Penn was filled with immediate discomfort. Sashi, strong, brave, confident Sashi, had become the opposite of herself; uncomfortable, self-conscious, and closed off.

Penn glanced at Boone and knew he was thinking the same thing.

“Uh, no, this isn’t gonna work.” Penn said flatly.

“Yeah.” Boone agreed with a frown.

“What?” Sashi knit her eyebrows together. “What do you mean?”

“You look completely stiff and uncomfortable, you’ll never pass as a stripper!” Penn exclaimed in exasperation. “Let’s switch.”

“What?!” If possible, Sashi’s eyes grew even wider. “ _You’d_ rather be the stripper?”

“Sure, why not?” Penn shrugged. “Red heads look great in pink. And you rock a mean fedora.” He took off his hat and held it out for her teasingly.

“B-but I... I don’t...” Sashi looked completely at a loss. “I- I can do this, Penn. I’ve dealt with worse.” She grimaced, and it took Penn a couple seconds to realize she was trying to smile.

“But you don’t _have_ to,” Penn insisted. “Listen, Sash, you look completely out of place. I have zero problems with doing this for you, okay?” He reassured her gently. “Let me do this for you.”

“Are you sure?” Sashi was still in disbelief.

“Absolutely.”

“Well,” A huge smile made its way across her flushed face. “Okay. Thank you, Penn.”

Sashi disappeared behind the screen again, and Penn ducked into the closet to change. Boone collected the garments and exchanged them, one of his hands clapped over his eyes dramatically, which resulted in a large amount of tripping and stumbling, but he was dedicated to the schtick. 

The lingerie fit Penn better than he’d thought it would. The police officer he’d zapped into had a lithe body with surprisingly slim shoulders and hips. He shaved his armpits, beard stubble, and any other visible body hair with a razor Sashi found in one of the vanity drawers.

The corset was Penn’s only worry, but it seemed it was made for someone with a small chest. The neckline dipped embarrassingly low, almost low enough to show his belly button, but the bra cups were full-coverage, so it was impossible to tell he didn’t actually have any boobs. And fortunately, he’d been blessed with wild, curly hair, so he didn’t have to worry about trying to find a wig.

When he emerged from the closet, Boone whistled.

“You make a good stripper, Penn.” He joked.

“Thanks, buddy,” Penn was relieved to see Sashi looking infinitely more comfortable in his pants, jacket, and fedora. “Well, Sash, what d’ya think?”

Her eyes trailed over him briefly, and his heart jolted. Was he imagining that blush?

“You make a pretty convincing stripper, PZ,” Sashi admitted, her voice betraying nothing. “But you’re going to need some make-up to pull off the whole ‘girl’ thing. Hang on, there’s some on the vanity.”

Sashi and Boone gave Penn a complete makeover, contouring his face to give it a more feminine look and lining his eyebrows and lips. He got eyeshadow, eyeliner, and even a pair of false eyelashes Boone found in one of the vanity drawers. Sashi finished the look with a hint of blush, and pulled his hair into a more deliberate style.

“There,” Sashi grinned. “You’re done.”

“Wow, guys,” Penn studied himself in the mirror appreciatively. “I really look like a girl. Great job!”

“Okay, back to the mission,” Sashi said. “There is a wire sewn into the lining of your bra. It will send a live feed back to my location so I can follow your progress from there.”

“Right,” Penn nodded. “Boone, you’re my bodyguard. High caliber prostitutes always have bodyguards, no one will question that.”

“ _Alright!_ I’ve been practicing my menacing scowl.” Boone schooled his features into an odd expression that suggested indigestion rather than intimidation.

“That’s great, Boone,” Sashi deadpanned. She turned to Penn, her eyebrows creased with worry. “Please be careful, Penn. I’ll be nearby in case anything happens, but...”

“I’ll be fine,” Penn assured her. “If things go south, Boone’ll be there to back me up.”

Sashi didn’t look reassured. Out of the three, Boone was the least formidable in combat, and he was currently making faces at himself in the mirror.

“But he won’t _need_ to, because everything will be just fine,” Penn insisted. “I’ll get that confession, don’t you worry! Um, by the way, what am I trying to get him to confess to?”

“Contracted murder,” Sashi said. “He paid some thugs to beat an opposing drug dealer to death and dump him in a river.”

“Ah,” Penn rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “That sounds... horrible. Really, _really,_ , terrible. This guy is bad news. I mean, like, scum-of-the-earth type bad. I mean really-”

“We get it, Penn,” Sashi snapped, her eyes betraying her anxiety. “Let’s just get this over with. I’m going to take my position. Boone, wait a couple minutes after I leave and then escort Penn to the boss’ room. He’ll have guards, and you’ll need to convince them to let Penn in. Afterwards, you’ll have to stay outside and let Penn do the rest. I’ll be able to communicate with you through this earpiece, which shouldn’t look too suspicious for a bodyguard to be wearing.”

“Got it.” Boone nodded and fixed on the earpiece.

“Penn, you might want to grab a coat, it’s a bit of a walk.” Sashi said, eying Penn’s attire critically.

“Good call.” Penn darted back into the closet to find a jacket.

“Alright, I’ll go get into position,” Sashi turned to leave. “Good luck.”

“Hey, Sashi?” Boone caught her by the arm, his face uncharacteristically somber. “You know I’d never let anything happen to Penn, right?”

Sashi sighed.

“Yes, I know, you’re a good friend,” She said, and she meant it. “I just worry when I don’t have complete control over a situation, y’know? I’d rather just beat a confession out of the guy. I hate missions that require discretion.”

“You and me both,” Boone muttered. “And you know... I would have volunteered to be the stripper too, just for the record.”

“I know, Boone.” Sashi smiled.

Penn, listening from inside the closet, was touched by their concern. Sashi was always a bit overprotective of her boys, but this mission seemed to have the both of them worried. Honestly, he’d done far more dangerous things before, he could handle sweet-talking a mob boss.

He emerged from the closet with a fake cough to announce his presence, pulling on a knee length, pastel trench coat.

“Okay, we doin’ this thing or what?” He asked, hands on his hips.

“Right,” Sashi blinked and shook her head. “I’ll be listening for trouble, okay? The second he confesses, we’ll get you out of there. Be safe.”

“You too.” Penn offered.

Sashi disappeared through the door, leaving Penn and Boone in the stripper’s dressing room.

~

Sashi strode down the long hallway leading out of the building.

It was a popular strip club, if the loud music blaring through the walls was any indication. She passed by several women who could only be strippers, some leading patrons by the arm into rooms with a ‘come hither’ look. Fortunately, nobody gave her a second glance, and she was able to leave the club without drawing any attention to herself.

The van was where the specs said it would be, parked down an alley about a block away. Sashi practically collapsed into the seat, thankful to finally be alone.

What in the actual fuck was wrong with her?

When she’d first seen Penn in that outrageous stripper outfit, her mind had wandered to dangerous places. He had no business looking so good in that. And it didn’t help that he’d kept most of his features when he zapped in.

Sometimes when they zapped into dimensions, they looked completely different, but more often than not, when they zapped into a human body, they looked more or less the same. Sashi didn’t know why it was that way. Perhaps the universe just loved watching her suffer?

Because she could imagine Penn, her Penn, wearing that same outfit, and the thought did bad things to her. When the hell had she gotten so damn kinky?

And when the fuck had she started wanting Penn?

When she’d first met the redhead, she couldn’t stand him. Then they became co-workers, and she had to deal with him on a daily basis. Somewhere along the line they became friends, and she must have developed a crush on him at some point, because now she was head over heels in love with him.

What had _that_ happened? Puberty? No, these feelings were far more recent.

It was like all of a sudden, she was seeing him in a different light. She had started noticing how impossibly blue Penn’s eyes really were, and been overcome with the desire to run her hands through that deliciously curly hair of his. His porcelain skin was suddenly so tempting, and she couldn’t help but imagine how good a hickey would look on the slender curve of his neck.

She had to get a grip. Penn was a great friend, and she didn’t want to ruin that. He probably didn’t feel the same way about her, and she didn’t want to make things awkward.

Sashi turned on her police radio and ordered all her units into position. They were confused when it wasn’t Penn (or, Officer Hartley, it seemed) organizing the operation, but she quickly brought them under her thumb with her trademark ‘take no shit’ attitude and her improvisation skills. She told them to stand by until she gave the order to swarm the building and make the arrest.

Her handheld radio beeped to life.

_“Hot Potato, come in Hot Potato, this is Flip-Flop, reporting in, over. I am about to escort the package to our target, over.”_

“Boone, you’re only supposed to say over when you’re actually done talking,” Sashi griped into the radio. “And could you please not call Penn _‘the package?'”_ Like she needed any more inappropriate thoughts on her mind.

_“Copy that, Hot Potato, over.”_

Sashi rolled her eyes even though Boone couldn’t see her. Hopefully the plan would go off without a hitch, and she could go home, take a cold shower, and forget this ever happened.

~

Boone, for one, was enjoying his role in the mission.

His dark shades, power suit, and earpiece made him feel like a secret agent. He knew there really wasn’t any use for code names, but his antics were putting Penn at ease. If he kept the mood lighthearted, they might be able to pretend this was just an ordinary, silly mission, like the type they used to go on when they were younger.

Boone followed Sashi’s directions through his earpiece, navigating the building to the villain’s location. They passed several other hookers, and Penn blended right in. He had mastered the strut of an on-the-clock stripper, never fumbling in his high-heeled boots. They passed by some club patrons every now and then, and Penn definitely turned a few heads. If it wasn’t for Boone’s menacing scowl, someone would’ve definitely approached them and asked “How much?”

It was kind of surreal to see your best friend pretending to be a prostitute. They’d both been girls before, sure, but this was different. He was just glad Penn was okay with it, because watching Sashi force herself to go through with it would’ve been ten times worse.

 _“Turn left here, and the boss’ room is straight down the hallway.”_ Sashi’s voice registered through his earpiece.

“Roger that, over.” Boone held up his hand for Penn to stop. He did, raising an eyebrow with an amused expression, hands on his hips. Boone peered around the corner slowly, taking note of the two guards standing by a door at the end of the hallway. “Flip-Flop to Hot Potato, the destination is within view, over. There are two guards by the door, _guarding._ What should I do? Over.”

_"Just tell them Penn has an appointment!”_

“Copy that, over.”

Boone gestured for Penn to follow him before making his way down the hallway, looking as tough and imposing as he could manage. He dropped the facade, however, when he realized who the two guards were.

“Oh, Sashi, it’s just Rippen and Larry! Over!”

_“What? Oh, great...”_

“Hey, guys, what’s up?” Boone greeted them like he would an old friend, arms outstretched. “Rippen, you’re looking well. Larry, great to see ya, man!”

“Hi Boone!” Larry beamed. “How’s the mission going so far?”

“Great, great, and you?”

“Oh, it’s going well, yeah,” Larry nudged Rippen playfully. “In fact, I was just telling Rippen how this reminded me of this one time back when I was in college, and-”

“Ah, the Wiseman,” Rippen interrupted him, his lip curled with distaste. “Wasn’t expecting to see you. Where’s your competent companion? I thought she’d be trying to reach our boss by now to beat a confession out of him with her furious little fists.”

“Sashi couldn’t make it, but she sends her regards.” Penn stepped out from behind Boone, his arms crossed.

Rippen’s eyes nearly popped out of his head, his face turning sheet-white. His mouth opened and closed soundlessly, frozen in complete and utter shock.

Larry waved.

“Hi Penn! Love the shoes!”

~

Penn refused to shrink under Rippen’s horrified gaze.

He’d originally been nervous to face his enemy dressed the way he was, but honestly, what did it matter? He was confident in himself, and whatever Rippen thought didn’t mean anything. Penn kept his chin up.

“Penn Zero, is that you?!?” Rippen managed finally. “W-what on earth are you doing dressed like that? You- I don’t understand- _why?”_

“Grow up, Rippen,” Penn sniffed. “What, you’ve never seen a stripper before?”

Rippen smacked his hands to his face and groaned. “I knew I should’ve stayed home today.” The part-time villain bemoaned.

“I’m gonna need you to stand aside,” Boone said, taking control over the situation. “Penn’s got an appointment with the boss.”

“Sorry, Penn,” Larry said cheerfully. “We are under strict orders not to let anyone enter this room... what?” He paused, a hand going to the piece in his ear. “Oh, alright. Of course sir, I’ll send them in right away!”

“Huh?”

“The boss would like to see you, Penn,” Larry explained, pointing towards a wall camera. “Go on in! And don’t worry, he can’t hear us, there’s no audio.” He added.

“What? Larry, we can’t- our mission!” Rippen protested.

“Boss’ orders.” Larry said simply.

“Well, that’s gotta be the fastest you’ve ever failed a mission before, huh Rippen?” Penn grinned, handing his coat to Boone.

“B-but you can’t!” Rippen spluttered. “I mean- for god sakes, boy, you’re only sixteen!”

“Not in _this_ dimension,” Penn couldn’t resist throwing in a wink as Larry opened the door for him. “Wait here, Boone, I’m going in.”

“Good luck, buddy!”

The door closed behind him. It took Penn a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting.

“Well? Come on, don’t be shy.” A low, predatory voice beckoned from the shadows.

Penn suppressed a shudder. At the start of the mission, he’d almost been hoping Rippen would end up being the boss, so he could outsmart the villain into slipping up and confessing. They wouldn't have had to bother with all this. Rippen might be a creep, but he wasn’t _that_ kind of creep.

He steeled himself and approached the man in the shadows, sending him a coy, flirtatious look.

“It looks to me like you’re the shy one,” He said, his voice slipping into a convincing falsetto. “Step into the light so I can take a look at you.”

The man chuckled and rose from his seat, striding forward in a single step. He was a large, broad-shouldered man, who resembled every stereotypical mob boss on television.

“You’re bold,” The man said approvingly. “I like that. My name, which I’m sure you already know, is Frank Castellano.”

“Well, to be frank,” Penn said, grinning inwardly at his pun. “I’m _very_ pleased to meet you.”

Mr. Castellano studied him, an unreadable expression on his face, before he grinned.

“You can drop the act now. I know who you really are.”

~

Back in the van, Sashi was trying to resist the urge to gag.

_“Well, to be frank, I’m **very** pleased to meet you.”_

All this flirting was making her sick. Penn couldn’t go one day without making a pun, could he? And even though his falsetto was pretty convincing, it was also pretty annoying.

At least that would make this easier to hear. Sashi wasn’t attracted to girls, so hearing Penn talk like that didn’t have an effect on her. Then again, she’d thought she wasn’t attracted to boys, either, and look where she was now.

_“You can drop the act now. I know who you really are.”_

Sashi’s heart jolted. Fuck, his cover was blown... he must’ve recognized Penn as a police officer. Sashi was about to tell Boone to get Penn out of there when the man spoke again.

_“I know a man when I see one. You’re very convincing, but I’m no fool. Luckily for you, I enjoy both men and women.”_

Oh. That was... fortunate.

 _“Well, that makes two of us,_ ” Penn recovered quickly, dropping the falsetto and adopting a sultry tone. _“I’m **so** glad you feel this way,”_ Sashi couldn’t believe her fucking ears, he was practically _purring._ “I was worried I’d have to... **convince** you.”

_“Oh? And how would you do that?”_

_“I have my ways,”_ Penn’s voice was light and teasing. _“I’ve brought powerful men to their knees before.”_ What the hell, what the-

_“None as powerful as me.”_

_"Oh? I bet you’re nothing but a softie on the inside, huh?”_ Sashi could just picture the face Penn was making; wide, innocent eyes and pouty lips, with a flutter of his eyelashes for added effect. 

Goddamn, it was a good thing she was the only one listening.

_“Nah, you got the wrong guy. I’m the most dangerous man you’ll ever meet.”_

_“I like danger.”_ Penn said. He sounded out of breath and _what the fuck were they doing?!?_

_“Yeah?”_

A pause.

_“Well, I don’t like to brag, but the last guy who crossed me wound up sleepin’ with the fishes.”_

Hook, line, and sinker.

Penn must have feigned innocence, because the man laughed, the sound grating like sandpaper on a bed of nails.

 _“You hear about Jimmy Broker? Son of a bitch moved in on my turf, so I had him killed. The body was so mangled the cops had to use his **dental records** to identify him.”_ Sashi could hear the leer in his voice. _“Like I said, I’m a dangerous man, and I always get what I want.”_

Fucking _finally._ Sashi turned the radio on.

“All units go, converge at Point B!” She ordered. Sashi grabbed her handheld radio. “Boone, we have what we need, get Penn out of there _now!”_

Without waiting for a response, Sashi grabbed a gun and a pair of handcuffs before jumping out of the van and tearing down the street.

~

The arrest went off without a hitch.

The local police force was surprisingly competent, and they easily overpowered Rippen and Larry. At this point, Sashi was pretty sure Rippen was just glad the mission was over. As he was led away in handcuffs, she heard him muttering about how he was going to need to see his therapist after this.

As Mr. Castellano was taken away, Sashi tracked down Penn and Boone. The whole club was in disarray, what with having about fifteen armed officers storm the building, but she found them back in the dressing room.

Penn looked a little out of breath, his face flushed, but otherwise unharmed, and _way_ too pleased with himself. And he was still in the fucking lingerie.

“Hey, Sash,” He had the nerve to greet her casually, like she hadn’t just heard him dirty talking a mob boss. “Good job out there. Mission accomplished, am I right?” He and Boone high-fived. The smile dropped off his face as she stormed up to him, getting right in his face.

“PZ, what the heck was that?!?” She demanded.

“What? What do you mean?” Penn asked, confused, and damn it all to hell, he looked adorable when he was confused.

“Back there, with the mob boss.” Sashi was suddenly regretting her aggressive approach, they were too fucking close-

“What, that? I don’t...” Penn’s eyes widened, and he took half a step back. “Sash, you... you know I’m bi, right?”

“Yes, I know, that’s not the issue here,” Sashi said impatiently. “That scumbag, he almost- you were- dang it, Penn, you- _ahhhg!_ " She broke off in irritation. What she wanted to say was _‘where the hell did you learn to talk dirty like that? who gave you the right to be so damn sexy?!?’_ but she couldn’t, for obvious reasons.

Penn frowned, knitting his eyebrows together in puzzlement. Good god, she wanted to kiss him so badly-

Thankfully, Phyllis chose that exact moment to zap them back.

Sashi didn’t even wait to listen Phyllis’ dry congratulations, or Penn’s cry of “Sashi, wait!”, and burst out of the theater. The crisp night air helped cool her down.

That could’ve gone a hell of a lot better.

Her only consolation was that it was a Friday, and she didn’t work on the weekends. She’d have some time to get her shit together before seeing Penn again on Monday.

~

It was Saturday night when Penn texted her.

She’d spent the day stalking around the apartment like an agitated tiger, equal parts angry, worried, and upset. Her family seemed to realize she was in a delicate state of mind and gave her a wide berth. Any attempts at prying were shut down mercilessly. This wasn’t something her parents could help her with.

Sashi was currently pacing around her room, replaying everything she’d said in her mind. Had she been too brash? Had she hurt his feelings? Was she too obvious?

She really hoped she hadn’t completely wrecked their friendship. She would just have to get over her infatuation with Penn (honestly, it couldn’t be called a crush at this point) Hopefully things would just go back to normal.

Sashi took her frustrations out on her pillow in a feathery bloodbath before collapsing on her bed.

“You really fucked up this time, Sashi...” She muttered.

Her phone buzzed, and Sashi pounced on it like a wild animal. It took her a second to type the password, made harder by her frantic scrabbling, but she finally unlocked it and read the message.

_‘Hey, Sash, can you come over? We need to talk.’_

FUCK. 

This was it. This was how it was going to end. Penn hated her and didn’t want to be her friend anymore, he was breaking up with her and they hadn’t even dated! What was she going to do, he was her best friend, her hero, holy fuck work was going to be so awkward, what if he quit? What is he asked Phyllis to fire her? What if-

Her phone buzzed again. Apparently she’d taken too long to reply.

_'My aunt and uncle aren’t home ;D’_

WHAT. 

Sashi’s breathing hitched. Was Penn flirting with her? She rushed to type a response.

_‘are you flirting with me’_

Fuckin’ nailed it.

Penn’s response came a few seconds later.

_;P_

Winky-lick? What the _hell_ did winky-lick even mean?!?

Sashi tried not to get her hopes up as she madly dashed around her room trying to make herself presentable. There was no way Penn was flirting with her, that was just how he was. He joked and flirted with tons of people, it was just his personality. He wasn’t being serious, of course not.

“Don’t be stupid, Sashi,” She told herself, pulling on her boots. “It’s just Penn.”

Normally her parents wouldn’t let her out this late, but they could tell she’d had a rough day, and since it was Penn, they let her go. After all, they had no idea about her recently developed feelings for Penn. They knew about her (former) apathy for romance, so they had no problem with her going to a close friend’s house late on a Saturday night, even if he was a boy.

Once outside, she strapped her helmet on, hopped onto her moped, and scootered madly into the night.

~

When she reached Penn’s house, Sashi was overwhelmed with a wave of anxiety.

She really didn’t want to lose her friend, but Penn deserved an explanation for why she had acted so strangely during the mission. And if he didn’t feel the same way.... she’d just have to deal with it.

Sashi knocked on the door. After two minutes of waiting, she pushed the door open (it was unlocked) and went inside.

“Penn?” No response, but there were lights on upstairs. “Penn, I’m coming up.”

The side-kick part of her was tense, anticipating danger around every corner. But realistically, they didn’t have any enemies in this dimension. Rippen never attacked or threatened them here, unless you counted bad grades.

“Penn, you there?”

“Yeah, come in.”

She came to a stop in front of the door to Penn’s room. This was it. Sashi took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

And gasped.

He was wearing fucking lingerie.

The outfit wasn’t identical to the one he wore in the other dimension, but it was pretty damn close. The pink bodice was a slightly different shade, and he was wearing thigh-high socks instead of boots, but Sashi didn’t give a fuck.

Penn was grinning at her from where he lay stretched out on his bed.

“Hey, Sash, what do you think?” He asked with a smirk. “Like it? It’s not a perfect match, but you can hardly tell.”

Sashi might’ve stopped breathing.

“Is this okay?” Penn was nervous now. “I thought, from what you said, and the way you- I mean, I like you, I’ve liked you for a really long time, and I thought you didn’t like me back until that mission, and- oh god, did I read too much into it? I did, didn’t I? Oh no, Sashi, I’m so sor-”

“Are you kidding me?” Sashi beamed. “You- you like me? I like you too!”

“Really?” Penn looked like his heart might burst from happiness. “Oh, thank god! I thought I‘d completely messed up here.”

“I... I was worried you wouldn’t feel the same way.” Sashi admitted.

“What?” Penn looked shocked. “You are insanely tough, brave, strong, intelligent, and absolutely beautiful, who _wouldn’t_ like you?”

“You really think that?” Sashi blushed.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He was wearing that shit-eating grin again.

“Well then,” Sashi closed the door with a wicked smile. “Do you want to know what I think?” She kicked off her boots and approached the foot of the bed.

“Hmmm?”

“You’re fucking sexy.”

Now it was Penn’s turn to blush.

“I’m _so_ glad you feel this way,” Sashi purred, crawling towards him until she was straddling his lap. “I was worried I’d have to... _convince_ you.”

“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?” Penn asked, wrapping his arms around her.

“Not a chance.”


End file.
